Trees… I made sketches of them during holidays. Gala was still very young and when she and her mother were still asleep I’d go out and sketch in the early mornings.

The big question is always how to give the illusion of foliage? This especially when the drawing is in pen and ink. To draw all the leaves one by one is crazy.

What could I steal from one of my heroes: Hercules Seghers?

He made the most amazing etchings. Even Rembrandt collected them. In the landscapes he created a hand writing that sometimes makes me think of cauliflowers; where it is tree or soil is not always fully clear.

Rembrandt bought one of his copper plates, wiped out half of the etching by Seghers and made his version of trees.

An etching is not the reality and both found beautiful but different solutions. The left part (on the right etching) is the original Seghers part. It has like so many of his works this surrealist atmosphere, an atmosphere of total silence.

Here another landscape by Seghers (cauliflower stuff).

My conviction is that there is no fundamental difference between ancient and contemporary art. The way painters paint or draw has to do with the ideas about how to draw or paint. Seghers reminds me of Vincent van Gogh. There is that certain rhythm…

Two more etchings with just one tree by Seghers.

So I gave it a try during the holidays.

All pen and ink on paper.

This last sketch is in pen and ink and black and white Posca Markers. Then all was easier… the perforated volume, the foliage.

All my sketches were not bigger than 20×20 centimeters and on paper. When you travel with the family, you cannot make big stuff. I made them in 2007.

All these sketches I sold. In my sketch blocks I had more fun, fun without the idea of possibly selling them. Instead just to have memory images of a nice holidays…

And a sweet daughter that just got up...

This sketch I made much later; it is Gala on a hot summers day. Trying to catch the strong light and shades on her face.

Looking for a nice video to accompany this blog I wandered through the various alternatives on Youtube. I could not find a satisfactory one with trees, holidays or landscapes.

I stumbled on this one, it makes no sense, but it is FUN!

Sometimes it's a flower period, sometimes it's one for feminine beauty. Recently I made 'Morning Glory' (a sad canvas), now I wanted to give another canvas the final kick.

The work that had to be tackled refers to an attempt made in 2001, when I made a nude inspired by a model that I painted in 1979 at the National Academy (click on the grey text to read about that encounter). I messed up that canvas and it turned into a bull...
Years later, in 2017, I tried again. I've never really been completely convinced, but it servived till now.
Now was the moment to attack/change it. Can I leave it alone for the rest of my life? I hope so…

Essential is that you compete with and get inspired by the greatest. I won't settle for less, that's not possible. In this case Vermeer and Rembrandt. A surprise?
In this case 'Girl with a pearl earring'. For me, the magic of the 'girl with a pearl earring' lies in the fact that it is not a real portrait. She may have existed and posed for Vermeer, but the painting transcends a portrait that might remind you of a ‘neighbor’. It is an absolute picture of a beautiful young woman. It is startlingly simple.
Then there is the painting of Rembrandt's bathing woman. What an intimacy…

I wanted to get inspired by these canvases, measure myself... an impossible task, but I'd rather go down like a Don Quixote than survive like a mediocre bastard.

In all my sketches of the beautiful models, I have always strived for dignity, to depict them as self-confident women, not as dolls/toys. I have always asked them to look at me, to confront me, more than just to be an opportunity for me to copy them. They have given me a lot.

In this canvas I wanted the same pride, the same consciousness. And also go beyond the resemblance to a 'neighbour'.
Initially her body worked out well, but her head… who was she supposed to be?
Where could I find the solution, put the twist on the right expression?
I decided to make a series of sketches of fantastic women from the movies.

First was Rita Hayworth. But too sensual...

Then I chose Hedy Lamarr, not only a vamp of the screen, but also an extremely intelligent woman, an inventor of importance. Less sensual, but...

I ended up with Romy Schneider. An incredibly beautiful woman, who is said to have led a tragic life.

The film 'Les Choses de la Vie' moved me deeply. (click on the grey word to go to images of the movie and the title song).
Of course, it's not said that an actress inevitably portrays her life, but something in that look of hers...
I made two sketches.

Then I tried to shape the head of the 'Ice Princess'.
Not turning her into Romy, thinking of the 'Girl with a Pearl Earring'.
What I wanted to portray is a proud, self-confident woman; better 'The Proud Self-Conscious Woman'. Someone who looks at you, who enters into confrontation, doesn’t turn away.

The fact that she holds her hands on her breasts while you can see her femininity is on purpose...

Here the entire painting and seen in the studio.

I am attaching a video ofmusic of Mahler. Romy Schneider was compared to Mozart by the director Claude Sautet, with whom she made 5 films.
Bertrand Tavernier replied that she had more of an atmosphere of Verdi or Mahler. She reminds me of the music of Mahler.

I know, it's the Adagietto of the fifth and conducted by Claudio Abbado. I have a soft spot for him...

Soms is het tijd voor bloemen, soms is het tijd voor het vrouwelijk schoon. Had ik pas ‘Morning Glory’ gemaakt (een doek gewijd aan verloren liefde), nu wilde ik eindelijk een ander doek de definitieve schop geven.

Het werk dat moest worden aangepakt refereert aan een poging gedaan in 2001, toen maakte ik een naakt geïnspireerd op een model dat ik ooit in 1979 geschilderd heb op de Rijks Academie (klik op het grijze woord om naar de tekst over haar te gaan). Dat doek heb ik verprutst en het is een stier geworden…

Jaren later, in 2017 heb ik weer een poging gewaagd. Ik ben er nooit echt helemaal van overtuigd geweest, het kon er mee door.

Nu heb ik dat doek aangepakt/veranderd. Kan ik het voor de rest van mijn leven met rust laten? Ik hoop het…

Wat van belang is dat je je meet met, je laat inspireren door de allergrootsten. Ik ga niet voor minder, dat mag niet. In dit geval Vermeer en Rembrandt. Een verrassing?

Voor mij zit de magie van het ‘meisje met de parel’ in dat het geen echt portret is. Ze zal bestaan en geposeerd hebben voor Vermeer, maar het schilderij ontstijgt een portret dat je wellicht aan een 'buurvrouw' doet denken. Het is een absoluut beeld van een prachtige jonge vrouw. Het is van een ontstellende eenvoud.

Dan is er het schilderij van de badende vrouw van Rembrandt. Wat een intimiteit…

Met die doeken wilde ik strijden, me meten, me door ze laten inspireren… een onmogelijke taak, maar ik ga liever als een don Quichot ten onder dan dat ik overleef als een middelmatige prutser.

In al mijn schetsen naar de prachtige modellen heb ik altijd gestreefd naar waardigheid, naar ze weer te geven als zelfbewuste vrouwen, niet als poppetjes/speeltjes. Ik heb ze altijd gevraagd me aan te kijken, de confrontatie aan te gaan, meer dan alleen een aanleiding voor mij te zijn om ze na te tekenen. Ze hebben me veel gegeven.

En in dit doek wilde ik dezelfde fierheid, het zelfde bewustzijn. En ook voorbij de gelijkenis met een ‘buurvrouw’.

Aanvankelijk lukte het lichaam aardig maar haar hoofd… wie moest ze dan zijn?

Waar kon ik de oplossing vinden, de draai geven aan de juiste uitdrukking?

Ik besloot een serie schetsen te maken van fantastische vrouwen van de film.

Eerste was Rita Hayworth. Maar teveel een sensuele vrouw...

Vervolgens koos ik Hedy Lamarr, niet alleen een vamp van het scherm, maar ook een uiterst intelligente vrouw, een uitvinder van belang. Ontstellend mooi maar misschien meer los van dat sensuele.

Uiteindelijk kwam ik uit bij Romy Schneider. Een ongelooflijk mooie vrouw, van wie wordt gezegd dat ze een tragisch leven heeft geleid.

De film ‘Les Choses de la Vie’ heeft me diep ontroerd (klik op het grijze woord om het lied te horen en beelden van de film te zien).

Natuurlijk, het is niet gezegd dat een actrice onvermijdelijk haar leven verbeeldt, maar iets in die blik van haar... die tederheid...

Ik heb er twee schetsen aan gewaagd.

Toen wilde ik het hoofd van de ‘Ice Princess’ gestalte geven.

Haar niet in Romy veranderend, denkende aan het ‘Meisje met de Parel’. Ook wilde ik de tragiek niet.

Wat ik heb willen weergeven is een fiere zelfbewuste vrouw; beter ‘De Fiere Zelfbewuste Vrouw’. Iemand die je aankijkt, die de confrontatie aangaat.

Dat ze haar handen voor haar borsten houdt terwijl je haar vrouwelijkheid kunt zien is met opzet gedaan…

Hier het hele schilderij en in het atelier.

Ik sluit een video van Mahler bij. Romy Schneider werd door de regisseur Claude Sautet met wie ze 5 films maakte vergeleken met Mozart.

Daarop antwoordde Bertrand Tavernier dat ze meer een sfeer van Verdi en Mahler om zich had hangen. Mij doet ze ook veel meer Mahler denken.

Ik weet het, het is het Adagietto van de vijfde en gedirigeerd door Claudio Abbado. Ik heb een zwak voor hem…

Morning glory, the flowers.

I painted many Moring Glory flowers, fascinated by the colors and the light in the heart of the flower.

Not long ago I discovered that the flower stands for the mortality of love or/and unfulfilled love.

There is a canvas that I have been fiddling around with for ages, changed I don’t know how many times. What to do with this woman? And now I may have finally broken through a barrier. The flowers!

Often I said that I want to paint in a way that resembles throwing an elephant through a keyhole. Flying endlessly out of control and then try to pick up the crazy pieces and make the whole thing function without losing the strong emotion.

The important thing is to go over the edges, not to go for the obvious. In this painting I hope the expressionistic way of painting (and scratching it with a knife) helps to transmit the message clearly.

The flowers intertwine with the lady.

detail

I painted someone who radiates abandonment and speechless sadness, who has turned in on herself because of the lack or loss of love.

detail of the face

To see the painting on the site, click on the image above.

A painting should have an 'obvious' surprise, something that clicks in in a painterly way. Here I found it in... can you spot it?

Lately I have been suffering a lot from a rhythm and blues mood.

The youtube video may show the opposite emotion of what the woman expresses but certainly feels within.

SHATTERED…

The music helped/guided while painting. Fasten your seatbelts!

At least three times I made a sketch after Velazquez’ portrait of Juan Pareja. One ended up on the shelve somewhere in the Netherlands. I don’t have the image.

The portrait of Juan Pareja and the portrait of the pope Innocenzio X are amongst my most favorite portraits.

What I love so much about all of Velazquez’ portraits is the dignity he gives the portrayed, the respect he shows (even though the pope scared the hell out of me the first time I saw the painting. The portrait hangs in a little room aside and when I entered it, the way he looked at me made me escape the room twice before I had the courage to confront me with the painting).

These sketches I made in the past. The second one of Juan Pareja not so long ago.

sizes: 15 x 10 and 20,5 x 14,7 cm.

Time to again play with some of my favorites: Velazquez and Goya. Exercises, trying to discover where the magic lays. All but one are portraits.

I sketched Philip III on a horse against a blue sky (by Velazquez), maybe because a friend of mine owns a horse now? Just for fun. Not really a serious sketch…

size 14,7 x 20,5 cm.

Of Velazquez I chose this portrait of a man (José Nieto?) to draw. Quite often when I work on a portrait commission, I look at this one to get inspired.

size 15 x 10 cm.

And then there are these portraits of Goya. The first one I have reworked, made better.

size 15 x 10 cm.

Below is the sketch after Goya's Isabel de Parcel. I have always found that it leans too much over to just the browns and blacks. Was he a bit in love with her, distracted by her beauty? Is it not a bit too much just a pretty woman with amazing big eyes?

size 20,5 x 14,7 cm.

Technique used: Posca Markers and pen and ink. In the limitation (you cannot mix colors) is the fun of playing. I can never get to making an exact copy not only because of the used markers, the interpretation shows my identity. I hope the portrait is recognizable the same, I go for that, but to get under the skin of Velazquez or Goya is impossible.  

Making sketches after my heroes' great works resulted in my series ‘ART HYSTERIA’. I combined different parts of paintings. The technique used for the different 'victims' was Posca Markers that unified the sometimes very different styles of the paintings quoted.

Click on the image to go to the series on the site.

But that is years ago… It didn’t get to making a book of them… a pity...

The song that accompanies this blog?

Mad Dogs and Englishmen in 1970! Almost antique, not as old as the paintings interpreted but almost.

One of my all time favorite songs. A thing I love is the chaotic atmosphere, there were three drummers for example. This series of concerts by the Mad Dogs and Englishmen was the epitome of freedom, debauchery and positivity.

What I try with my Posca Markers is to get off track, to not be too exact not ‘to draw within the lines’ but to get the feeling of everything goes. First to go loose and then to pinpoint it down. To show life, happiness. 'The Letter' helps.

And this too is an interpretation of the song by the Box Tops.

I am preparing all for the commission for the new church in Italy. Because of the holidays everything is closed. I cannot calculate all the costs, so I have ‘spare time’.

Apart from flowers and bulls I thought, ‘why not make a sexy nude?’. The thought came up because of the images in catholic churches, the question of physical beauty and seduction.

In all the religious images there are some ‘rules’ that have never been violated. Even if Caravaggio came very close. But here I don’t talk of a prostitute as model for Mary.

I talk about the appearances. Recently I made this little sketch of Saint Sebastian with a big belly. My Sebastian just likes Mac Donalds' BIG MAC…

And what if Jesus had a hairy chest and o'legs? Time ago I made this little sketch of ‘sexy’ Mary. Even Gala was a bit surprised.

For the crucifix in Modena I used as a model an ex dancer, a guy with the dreamlike physical…

Back to the new painting. In 1990 I made a sensual female nude that didn’t even make it to the show I had in a gallery. I sold it before. A naughty and independent girl. She didn’t feel like hanging on a wall in a gallery…

The thought of repeating this painting has travelled with me over the years. To try to make another seductive ‘goddess’.

Now I had the time.

First the goddess went sort of ok, but then I got bored. To repeat a painting always leads to a lesser version of the original one.

I searched for depth and then the poem of Edgar Allen Poe, ‘THE RAVEN’ presented itself.

I am fascinated by these very intelligent birds. There is something devilish about them. It is this contrast that gives the painting the meaning and tension.

About in which direction I wanted to go concerning how to manipulate where the viewer concentrates on... How far to push suggestion, not defining too much here and there.

It goes back to the Italian years (1980-83). Mikulas told me that he was interested in the plant in the background of the ‘Jewish Bride’ of Rembrandt. It is there but it is not treated in the same way as the two people.

The importance given the secondary subject not as outspoken as the main players is the piece.

And I searched for a color scheme not often used: grey/greenish and pink/red brownish. I wanted to play with the skin color and the opposite, grey/greenish. There is more: the here and there subtle reddish outlining that makes her stand out more.

She didn’t turn out as challenging as ‘THE VAMP’, but I can live with this mysterious goddess.

Here she is.

Click on the image to go to the site.

Not long ago I celebrated my birthday, a birthday that neither of my parents ever celebrated. I survived them both and that makes me think. This gives all a different twist.

Forty-four years ago I graduated from art school. Since then I have been on my quest in the visual arts. I suspect that I am in my final phase or at least well past the halfway mark. I'm still learning; I continue my bumbling, searching footsteps in terra incognita cautiously, increasingly cautiously. How much time do I have left? How to tackle it?

Recently I read a biography of Picasso and towards the end he kept painting more desperate, gave himself less and less time to give a canvas a rounded appearance. With the death on the heels, he bugled one canvas after another. I have always thought that he wanted to trample everything, grind all down. His painting had not so much to do with love, it had to do with enchanting and overpowering.
At the end of his life he must have felt hopelessly lonely (he treated the people around him in the same way). He must have been aware that the magic remedy, painting, could not provide salvation. No matter how hard he struggled.

That's how I remember Peter Defesche's last exhibition. A painter stuck in the idiom of the fifties to the seventies, in short, producing a creative so called innocent mess. He also felt the end was approaching and had produced an enormous amount of worn-out junk.

There is no hold. Just before death takes you, to overwhelm people with your latest statements. Quantity is not quality, nor does it bring salvation.

What is my strategy? I also know that I have less time left than the past forty-four professional years.
I have no fear of death and know that I will never be able to paint the absolute picture. You don't produce the ultimate act, the ultimate gesture, it overcomes you. Death is the ultimate event.
But to work in a higher gear, at a suffocating pace, to fill the canvases one after another...
Hopefully to realize that CANVAS, to meet absolute truth and absolute usefulness in art in that desperate way... I doubt and doubt more than before.
Art serves no purpose. At least, there is no proof. And that is also reassuring.

In FIESTA 03 I tried to work towards a conclusion to which I cannot add anything now. I painted it looking at 'my GREAT EXAMPLES' and at my own older works that still seem to me as close to my absolute painting.

You must try to surpass your gods and yourself. That's what you have to do. An impossible task.
I look at the great masters and look and look. Quite recently I also see more of their weak sides, those where for me they do not correspond to total perfection. It may sound arrogant, but it is the task of all artists to reach further after climbing on the shoulders of their masters.
I recently purchased another book about Francis Bacon. His work is in the same environment that I find myself in with FIESTA 03. And then I wonder where I don't accept his solutions, where he goes wrong or banal for me.

Only then can you create something that really has a soul, your own soul that kindles like a flame in the dark.
I'm not in a hurry. I wish that everything I present shows me the strongest possible credibility. Festina lente!

What is the essence of painting. What should we talk about… Of course the themes are death, fear, seduction, sensuality, love and survival. I try to present it as inevitably as possible in a painterly context that cannot be explained verbally. In a style that is not too time-bound.

We are all trapped in our time with its beliefs. For me, contemporary art means art that conveys a strong emotion to the viewer today. Even if it was made five centuries ago and perhaps with different intentions. That is why my great role models have not only walked the earth for the last hundred years.

A change from realistic representation must have a strong reason, not come from ignorance or too much linked to the spirit of the times. I agree with Arthur Danto, who stated that we live in post-historic times. There is no more progress to be found in a so-called new style. Nothing needs to be demolished anymore. Everything has been done, what remains is to work in a way that convinces/surprises yourself. Of course, there is always a personal twist and that twist is maximized when you go to your extreme.

FIESTA 03, if you click on the image you go to the painting on the site.

While time is running out, I take the time to purify my paintings of everything that I consider unnecessary. Enough babbling! Each painting must be the final chord until I begin the next.

detail of FIESTA 03

One final thought. One of my best friends, one who owned several of my works, asked me just before his passing away what the meaning behind a large canvas (that he owned) actually was. I owed him the answer...

Niet lang geleden heb mijn verjaardag gevierd, een verjaardag die mijn beide ouders nooit gevierd hebben. Ik heb ze beiden overleefd en dat geeft me te denken. Alles heeft een andere lading.

Vierenveertig jaar geleden studeerde ik af aan de kunst academie. Sindsdien heb ik mijn zoektocht in de beeldende kunsten voorgezet. Inmiddels bekruipt mij het vermoeden dat ik mij in een eindfase bevind of in ieder geval ver over de helft. Ik leer nog steeds; ik vervolg mijn stuntelende, zoekende voetstappen in terra incognita behoedzaam, steeds behoedzamer. Hoeveel tijd heb ik nog? Hoe het aan te pakken?

Ik heb pas een biografie over Picasso gelezen en hij schilderde naar het einde toe steeds wanhopiger, gaf zich steeds minder tijd om een doek een afgerond aanzien te geven. Werkelijk met de dood op de hielen raffelde hij het ene na het andere doek af. Nu heb ik altijd al gevonden dat hij alles wilde vertrappen, vermalen, van zich af gooien. Zijn schilderen had niet zo zeer te maken met liefde, het had te maken met bezweren en overmeesteren. Hij moet zich op het einde van zijn leven verlaten, hopeloos eenzaam hebben gevoeld (ook de mensen om hem heen behandelde hij op een zelfde wijze). En hij moet zich bewust zijn geweest dat het tovermiddel, schilderen, geen verlossing geven kon. Hoe hard hij ook door ploeterde.

Zo herinner ik mij ook de laatste tentoonstelling van Peter Defesche. Sowieso een schilder vastzittend in het idioom van de vijftiger tot zeventiger jaren, kortom creatief semi onschuldig geklieder, die ook het einde naderen voelde en een enorme hoeveelheid aan afgeraffelde zooi had geproduceerd.

Er bestaat geen houvast. Nog even voor de dood je halen komt de mensen overstelpen met je laatste statements... Kwantiteit is geen kwaliteit, noch brengt het verlossing.

Wat is mijn strategie? Ook ik weet dat mij minder tijd rest dan de afgelopen vierenveertig professionele jaren.

Ik heb geen angst voor de dood en weet dat ik het absolute schilderij nooit zal kunnen schilderen. De ultieme daad, het ultieme gebaar maak je niet, het overkomt je. De dood is de ultieme gebeurtenis. Maar om nu in een hogere versnelling, in een verstikkende vaart nog doeken vol te smeren om misschien toch dat doek te realiseren, om in de kunst de absolute waarheid en het absolute nut op die wanhopige manier te ontmoeten… Ik twijfel en twijfel meer dan voorheen.

Kunst dient nergens toe. Althans, er is geen bewijs te leveren. En ook dat is een geruststelling.

In FIESTA 03 heb ik gepoogd naar een afronding te werken waar ik nu niets aan toe kan voegen. Ik heb dat geschilderd kijkend naar ‘mijn GROTE VOORBEELDEN’ en naar mijn eigen oudere werken die mij nog steeds voorkomen als dichtbij mijn absolute schilderij.

Je probeert je goden en jezelf te overtreffen. Dat is wat je te doen staat. Een onmogelijke taak.

Ik kijk naar de grote meesters en kijk en kijk. Vrij recent zie ik ook meer hun zwakke kanten, die waar ze voor mij niet beantwoorden aan totale perfectie. Het mag arrogant klinken maar het is de taak van alle artiesten om na op de schouders van hun leermeesters te zijn geklommen verder te willen reiken.

Ik heb kort geleden weer een boek over Francis Bacon gekocht. Zijn werk bevindt zich in dezelfde omgeving waarin ik mij met FIESTA 03 bevind. En dan vraag ik mij af waar ik zijn oplossingen niet accepteer, waar hij voor mij mis grijpt, banaal is.

Alleen dan kun je iets maken dat werkelijk een ziel heeft, je eigen ziel die als een vlammetje in het donker wakkert.

Ik heb geen haast. Ik wens dat alles wat ik presenteer mij een zo sterk mogelijke geloofwaardigheid toont. Festina lente!

Wat is de essentie van schilderen. Waar moeten we het over hebben… Natuurlijk zijn de thema’s dood, angst, verleiding, sensualiteit, liefde en overleven. En ik poog die in een schilderkunstig, dus niet woordelijk uitlegbaar verband zo onvermijdelijk mogelijk te presenteren. In een stijl die niet al te tijdgebonden is.

We zitten allen gevangen in onze tijd met zijn overtuigingen.

Voor mij betekent hedendaagse kunst kunst die heden ten dage een sterke emotie overbrengt aan de toeschouwer. Ook al is die vijf eeuwen geleden gemaakt en wellicht met andere intenties. Vandaar dat mijn grote voorbeelden niet alleen de laatste honderd jaar op de aarde hebben rondgelopen.

Een ombuiging van realistisch weergeven moet een sterke reden hebben, niet ontstaan uit onmacht of te aan tijd gebonden mode. Ik ben het eens met Arthur Danto, die stelde dat we in de posthistorische tijd leven. Er is geen vooruitgang meer in een zogenaamde nieuwe stijl te vinden. Niets hoeft meer te worden afgebroken. Alles is gedaan, wat er rest is te werken op een manier die jezelf overtuigt en verrast. Er zit natuurlijk altijd een persoonlijke draai aan en die draai wordt maximaal als je tot het uiterste gaat.

FIESTA 03 (klik op de afbeelding om naar het schilderij op de site te gaan)

Terwijl de tijd dringt neem ik de tijd om mijn schilderijen te zuiveren van al wat in mijn ogen niet onvermijdelijk is. Genoeg geleuterd! Elk schilderij moet het slotakkoord zijn tot ik het volgende begin.

detail van FIESTA 03.

Nog een laatste gedachte. Een van mijn beste vrienden en een die verschillende werken van mij bezat, vroeg mij vlak voor zijn overlijden wat de bedoeling achter een groot doek (dat hij bezat) nu eigenlijk was.

Ik moest hem het antwoord schuldig blijven...

In late 2023 and early 2024 I made four BULL paintings. The theme still fascinates me. As a fan of Rembrandt and Caravaggio amongst the many other geniuses I introduced light as an important factor.

In the paintings of Caravaggio light was a very important means to direct the viewer’s attention to what mattered and to give the subject direction for the first time. Dramatic light gives a painting a special twist.

Bulls are animals that do well with such a twist. Snails don’t…

I made a video of the four and looked very long for what music to accompany it. I didn’t find it… It reminds me of the several times I saw the ballet on the music 'Le sacre du printemps' by Igor Stravinsky. The ballet never lived up to the music (here it is the other way round?). There is so much violence, anger...

So here it is, let’s call it my dramatic silent MOVIE OF BULLS IN MOTION.

Click on the image to go to the video.

Enjoy!

As the additional music video I put 'Hey Lord. Don't ask me questions' by Graham Parker and the Rumour. It was a hit in 1976. The style was pub rock. These years were the times of punk, anger, no future. And this mood, I find, if channeled in the right way can be very productive. The same one can feel when seeing a bull charge.

Barcelona, April 24, 2024

I wanted to send a dear friend a photo of a work I made long ago. I had the slide digitalized and I thought, why not have one made of a big slide of my ‘DISTURBING YELLOW’, a 200 X 300 cm diptych made in 1990…

It triggered the look back.

I had a nice studio in Amsterdam.

In 1987 I participated in the dance production ‘QUADERNA’. I painted on stage, first the scenery, the back drop during the performance (on the photo left you see them stacked against the wall), I ran up and down the stage, bothered the dancers and in the end I painted them. It is the only theatrical experience I had, it was BIG FUN.

Could I have known that my daughter went to all these ballet classes? So father so daughter? Not really (photo made much later).

After the performances of 'QUADERNA' I had about 8 or 10 sort of canvasses of 275 high and 125 wide if I remember well. So I thought of BIG STUFF. Twice I made a triptych in 1988. Both ended in private collections in Milan, Italy.

‘BIG FOOT’ (with me in front)

‘TOWARDS THE FIRE’

In 1989 I continued to paint BIG. First was the triptych ‘THE PRAYING MANTIS’.

Followed by:

‘THE KITES’

and

‘THE THREE BROTHERS’

size 200 X 300 cm.

These three paintings were finished around 1990. All were sold during my solo show at Jaski Art Gallery. And then I made 'DISTURBING YELLOW', exposed and sold during my solo show at Gallery Langenberg.

I moved to New York where new adventures awaited me. I made the series ‘MY METROPOLIS’ and got the idea for the ‘FALLEN ANGELS’ amongst others. (Click on the grey words to go to the texts)

Time passed by. I went back to Amsterdam and ended up in Barcelona where for the last twenty years I have been living (with an interruption). One happy and BIG reason for me to live here is to be near to Gala. I painted her portrait in 2022.

Portraits… Soon I will bring three portraits to clients in London.

A month ago I started a FLOWER painting but found out that my mood looks in another direction: to that same old way of working in the nineties, but a bit smaller in size because my studio doesn’t really allow me to make real BIG STUFF.

Currently I am working on ‘FIESTA 03’. I am letting it jump from one loose thought to the other. Hoping to get in touch with deeper layers of my subconscious. Do I have something to tell? I should have enough craftsmanship to go back and forth from uncontrolled wildness to reason, giving the unexpected its role to play. Art is about controlled chaos.

And now for the BIG SURPRISE:

Here is the new ANGEL of the BIG SCREEN…

The show must go on… with the NEW GENERATION!

(about the chanson: sorry for me being a bit sentimental)