BULLS

Two things make me wonder… I moved back to Barcelona and a gallery owner who didn’t know I was back in town (I had not heard from him in a very long time) ordered a bull painting.

In the Netherlands I had sort of moved away from bulls; they are not as present in that culture as here. Will there be a revival of the bulls? Barcelona Bulls?

I cannot show the new bull in this blog, it might be finished, but I have to put it away for a week. Then, with a fresh and new look, I will decide if the bull in this state survives. The client asked for a painting in the style of ‘BULL 058' (2014): light, passion and movement.

BUTTERFLIES

Second strange coincidence happened right after the move. Old works reappeared from storage, amongst them ‘MISS SAIGON’.

I made this work for the Scheveningen Circus theatre where in 1996 the musical ‘MISS SAIGON’ played. That musical is a more up to date version of ‘MADAME BUTTERFLY’ hence my butterflies… I hung it in Gala’s room (she loves musicals).

And then I finished ‘FIESTA 002, ‘BLOOD BUTTERFLIES’. The butterflies appeared in that work before I moved.

Click on the image to go to the painting and details on the site.

My fascination with butterflies dates back to 1995. In Germany I wanted to buy a winter coat, came home in the same old and too thin coat, but with a beautiful stuffed butterfly bought in a museum.

That’s what happens when you love colors and light. Butterflies look like intangible dots of color. In the text ‘LIGHT’  I talk about it.

Click on the butterfly to go to the blog.

In ‘FIESTA 002, BLOOD BUTTERFLIES’ I tried to give the butterflies a reference to a more physical presence by adding the word ‘blood’.

So it’s bulls and butterflies again? Is Barcelona to blame?

FROM NETHERLANDS TO SPAIN, WHAT DID I BRING WITH ME?

A friend asked me about the impact that Utrecht or the Netherlands had had on my work. I lived there for only two and half a years. Apart from the bulls moving more to the background, it may have been my ever bigger fascination with light. I visited the exhibition of Vermeer twice.

See blog by clicking on the image below.

Vermeer I saw in Amsterdam, Utrecht was the city of the Caravaggisti.

But does that count? We are talking about Caravaggio! The Utrecht women then? Even this girl could not make me stay…

Click on her breasts to go to read about them.

There is the Rietveld Schröderhuis, that I visited twice.

Still much has to be done to make the house here my home, but no Rietveld style for me! Even if I studied at the Rietveld Academy.

And again, coincidence? The guide in the house studied in Gerona with a friend of mine through whom I met the woman that made me move to Barcelona. The mother of my daughter. HELP! Life is one big trip (In-A-Gadda-Da-Vida).

In 2007 I made a sketch after the self portrait of Rembrandt that is to be found in the Kunsthistorisches Museum in Vienna.

I knew it long before I saw it for real from a book I have.

In Florence (1980) I bought three books: one about Edvard Munch, one about Picasso and one about Rembrandt.

These were the days I felt quite a bohemian.

But a real bohemian I wasn’t, I have not followed their nine commandments found in the book about Munch:

Thou shalt write thine own life.
Thou shalt sever thy family roots.
Thou cannot treat thy parents badly enough.
Thou shalt never smite thy neighbor for less than five crowns.
Thou shalt hate and despise all farmers, such as Bjørnstjerne Bjømson.
Thou shalt never wear celluloid cuffs.
Neglect not to make a scandal in the Cristiania Theater.
Thou shalt never repent.
Thou shalt take thine own life.

That I went for Munch may have had to do with Pieter, a friend from the academy. We talked a lot about art and he had a Norwegian girlfriend. He jumped of the roof of his apartment one sad bad day. His first and last bohemian deed…

I am walking in the wrong direction, wrong memories… Let’s go back to the book about Rembrandt.

On one of the first pages there is this detail of the self portrait. I find it one of his most beautiful self portraits. The frailty, the doubt, the self questioning is so present. Seeing it for real was a feast.

In the sketch made in 2007 I concentrated on the face. Apart from his shirt I sketched with white gouache, white Uni Posca marker and black ink.

For years I did not dare to repeat, it just looked too good. I felt it had ‘escaped’ me. There are these days that my hand flies way over my head and shows me landscapes I could not dream of.

And then I made this sketch after Velazquez some time ago… I had sketched that head more than once, so Rembrandt called me… I had to give it another try:

size: 15 x 10 cm.

I know, it is soaked in browns, ochres and blacks. A friend once said that Rembrandt is all that brown and darkness. She doesn't like his paintings. But isn't that like saying the violin concerto in D major of Brahms has a lot of violins… true, true, but…

Here's a detail:

And then there is the portrait of the woman with the ostrich feather fan. Seen only 5 times… and sketched once. I consider this portrait another highlight in Rembrandts oeuvre. In 2004 I made the sketch. Here is the original (never mind the sketch). 

It triggered thoughts about mothers. I had been reading some poems; ‘Droom’ by Reve and ‘Moeder de vrouw’ by Nijhoff. They speak of the MOTHER.

Only mothers know what it is to be completely one with another soul. We poor men can only dream. Haven't met a pregnant man yet...

I can only get near by creating a false person, is that what I love about painting?

Here the image of the second time I copied that amazing portrait.

size 20,4 x 14,7 cm. 

Closer by, a detail.

The greatness of many of Rembrandts works lays in showing doubt, compassion, acceptance of whatever life gives. That I find too in the works of Velazquez and that amazing self portrait of Carel Fabritius (and Goya and...).

Fabritius was a student of Rembrandt. I copied that self portrait too. I gave it away to an actor friend. I play the good guy here, I play Fabritius, he loves to play bad guys…

size: 20 x 20 cm.

It is what I don’t like in the works of Picasso. There is never doubt or compassion. He said he didn’t search; he found.

True, but my tendency goes towards getting lost, get to the point where I almost give up and then the magic has the possibility to sneak in. It is a question of mentality. I don’t want to play the hero, the macho. I find that kind of hero a tragic and pathetic figure.

Listen to the adagio of the violin concert of Brahms as an extra. I love adagi as much as browns and ochres... 

Some portraits just don’t let me loose. I look at them time after time. I saw this one in the Metropolitan Museum in New York at least 15 times. It still leaves me speechless.

The simplicity is astounding and Velazquez gave his assistant in this portrait such dignity. As in so many other portraits made by him… How did he do that? I have the idea it has something to do with the painter’s soul... something that just appears in his works no matter what.

Long ago (at the academy) my art history teacher said that Velazquez made this portrait as an exercise for that other absolute portrait he made of the pope Innocenzio XI. Here it is:

When last September I was in Rome I could not have a good look at it, it was hung in an impossible place with crazy bad lighting. Sometimes… imagine you come all the way from New York to see it for the first time…

Of course I made a copy of that portrait too. This time only with only Uni Posca as material.

detail:

I am happy to have seen this portrait many, many times so I could concentrate on other great works of the collection of the Doria Pamphilj Gallery.

When I find the need to learn, to give myself a good exercise, I try to copy a masterpiece like this one in another technique. And in a small size!

Used materials: Uni Posca and black ink. These materials and size call for different solutions, I made the portrait more ‘crumbly’.

It is what painting for me is about. You need to make a believable image. Still it cannot be like a photographically image. You need to show this is not like the real world; it lives in a different world. But a world that is alive, vivid!

I tried to catch the same expression that Velazquez gave. The learning never stops…

detail one and two zoom in.

I have broken my teeth on this portrait more than once, but never did I go this far.

Here you see my hand with the sketch to have an idea about the size.

These sketches are not for sale; they are exercises.

They are like a chapter in my sketch blocks. On the site I show of these sketches and others every time you open the 'sketchbooks' a random selection of 24 out if the now 735. To go to the sketches, click on the grey word: site. If you have luck it may show up (or the other one)...

As an extra watch the video of the Postmodern Jukebox and Morgan James playing and singing 'Dream on' of Aerosmith in another style... go Morgan, go!!!

I am living in between… half of my stuff was forgotten by the movers, it will arrive next week.
So I correct some old sketches. This coming period I will concentrate more on light… the influence of having visited the Vermeer exhibition twice?

Isn’t it all actually about light? Well, my flowers are about light...

I picked out two sketches from film stills by night of the movie ‘En cas de malheur’ to study. Not only did the light complicate the representation because these are night scenes (no obvious shapes and extreme contrasts) but also I drew them in my sketchbooks, so the sizes are small. Any error shows like a big one.

Here and there I simplified the background. In case number one the hair of Brigitte Bardot gave me so much trouble… she has quite a lot of hair, by the way…

detail

In sketch number two I had to go even smaller. The whole sketch is not more than 15 x 10 centimeters.

detail (you can distinguish my fingerprints)

BB... in these sketches she doesn't really look like her; the images are too small to get all done well and I concentrated on something else. To take revenge, here she is in another one (made in 2018):

When I was little, France and of course people like BB were a myth (Read about it by clicking on the grey word France). 'La douce France' holds so much mystery.

And then the mind wanders off. These old French movies...

Not long ago I saw ‘Les choses de la vie’ (director: Claude Sautet. With Romy Schneider and Michel Piccoli) twice. I saw it on Netflix, hidden between all the violent movies, the stupid movies, the pathetic series it sparkled like a diamant on the HUGE PILE OF SHIT.

The scene that stuck right through my heart was when Romy Schneider said: ‘I am tired of loving you.’ Maybe I quote it wrong… And then there is the end… Unfortunately I cannot find the movie anymore.

Sure thing is that I will have to make some sketches after that movie….

On Spotify I have the chapter of 'movie music'. The first song is 'Le chanson de Hélène'. 
Click on the image to go to the song of 'Les choses de la vie'.

There are more songs from 'old movies': 'L'ascenseur pour l'echafaud' and 'Last tango in Paris' are amongst them. More sketches to be made?

P.S.: some days later and still waiting for the rest of my things, so I attacked a still of the movie 'Barry Lyndon', maybe the movie with the most amazing images ever, especially the night ones. Although I would not count out 'The third man'...

Let's see if this Phenix will rise from its ashes… A new beginning in a familiar environment. Back in Barcelona.

Two and a half years in the Netherlands; what did it yield, how was it?

It felt like paradise. I've had some wonderful assignments.

Over the years I have become more and more addicted to painting, spending most of my time behind the easel. That's why I don't see many people.

And after twenty years abroad, I was still present in very few people's systems.

On top of that, making an appointment in the Netherlands is a bit complicated. If only I had gone out more often… I hardly saw anybody.

And I discovered that for many Dutch people I am more fun when I live far away.

I am eternally grateful to my landlord. Almost everything came about thanks to him. Besides him I met some new very nice people. And I saw my family more, which is a gain!

In a special way I came across a new/old subject: the volcano.

I had an assignment and was so lucky to have visited Stromboli (even if it was a long time ago). At full moon I looked into the working crater. It has always stayed with me. Unforgettable. The memory helped.

Volcano 001, 150 x 200 cm, 2022.

After the assignment, four new ones were created.

Volcano 002, 003, 004 and 005.

I also painted a cityscape! My first real cityscape.

I consider painting not only a passion but also a craft. So it had to be possible.

I admire painters like Goya. Exposing the soul of a human being in a portrait but also being able to handle a still life, a landscape or whatever.

The Hague Skyline, 120 x 200 cm, 2022.

This painting shows the building in which the most famous Dutch cityscape is located. Recently I saw it in the Rijksmuseum, visited Vermeer's unforgettable exhibition twice.

I painted many flowers, also of large size.

There were portrait commissions. One stayed in Utrecht, one in Amsterdam, one left for Paris and one hangs in Finland and Barcelona. These all next to my daughter's…

‘Fiesta 1' and 'Fiesta 2’ (I couldn't really get away from Spain) came to completion as well as ‘Splash’ (gone to Oslo), 'Laughter' and my ‘Requiem for Mauro’.

Of course I scribbled in my sketchbooks… here is a small selection….

A couple bulls in gouache visited the studio, all this while there was covid...

Now I'm back in Barcelona… we'll see. One person I have to thank very, very, very much. I had to leave my Dutch paradise and Rosa heard that through Gala. Initially I wanted to disappear in the province (anywhere: the Netherlands, Italy or Spain. Become a hermit; enter a new phase in life. The solitary life doesn't scare me anymore, actually...) but it ended up by me going back to Barcelona…

I was born on the seventh of the seventh month at about seven o'clock in the morning…

There is a fantastic market nearby, the forest is around the corner as is Gala, the weather is pleasant and soon I will have a wonderful studio in the back of the garden.

For the second time I visited the exhibition. It is so unique. To see so many paintings together is more than a treat. Things that you normally don’t realize/see come to mind. There were paintings I hadn’t seen in a long time and even one I had not seen yet.

The big joy was to see the painting from Dresden for the first time.

What struck me was how low the head of the woman is in the composition and how small (as in so many). It shows that for Vermeer the light was the main player, not the human being.

An Italian friend who visited almost all Dutch museums said he thought Vermeer number one over Rembrandt number two. When I asked why, he told me that Vermeer looked at the world like an alien. Because at that time it hurt me I replied that if Vermeer was an alien he was 0 and Rembrandt 1... Now I can tolerate and appreciate his opinion, but let nobody dare touch Rembrandt!!!

Maybe a bit a far fetched thought but Rembrandt was protestant, read the Bible and Vermeer turned to Catholicism, left all to the priests... Humanism against alienism. Vermeer painted the fruit with the same attention as the woman. The woman thus becomes sort of part of a still life.

That Vermeer manipulated/orchestrated his compositions carefully shows the red curtain, the movement leads you to the head.

How beautiful the green of the curtain repeated in her dress, the repetition of the movement of the red curtain in the table cloth, the shadow on the wall as a contrast to the light on the dress, then the shadow part of the dress contrasting the light on the wall.

In the Frick painting of the ‘man looking at a woman’ notice the upper part of the window frame pointing to the head of the woman. No coincidence. A feeling of far far away distance, a bit scary... The woman (main object therefor lit; the baroque trick) is such a small object in the painting and not even halfway hight. Do his words reach her or die half way?

And here again that glowing of the colors. The exhibition is in two parts of the museum and when I walked on the bridge that connects the two looking down on reality (the entrance hall with the many visitors) the colors looked dull, bleak.

Another one where the main subject is almost like a coincidence is the ‘woman tuning the lute’ of the Met. Above her so much wall… He softened the face to avoid her from jumping to the foreground. Here the light is dimmed...

A painting I have seen a hundred times is the woman reading a letter of the collection of the Rijksmuseum. If you look at her head and follow it down it reminds me of the song of Atahualpa Yupanqui: Canción para Pablo Neruda:

‘Thank you for the tenderness you gave us.

For the swallows that fly with your verses.
From boat to boat.
From branch to branch.
From silence to silence.’

(click on the above image to go to the song)

The colors and the Clair-obscur of the head, bow ties, jacket and background twinkle from ‘silence to silence.’ Those subtle touches of his brush…

The same twinkling touches of the little bow ties around the head, the earrings, the pearl necklace and the nails on the box and chair. What spotty happiness...

More subtle solutions in the ‘woman holding a balance’. The black frame that covers part of the light of the window, the frame above the hand where the two golden lines don’t light up. The yellow curtain and the orange on her stomach with a little in between bounce on the inside of the box.
There is just too much…

The ‘lacemaker’. A very small painting where the threads are almost liquid light. A mini red waterfall pours out of the cushion.

It becomes so clear that the impressionists discovered his uniqueness, his genius.

Where until then painters foremost painted objects on which the light falls, in for example the cap of Vermeer's ‘milkmaid’ it is (on the left side) the light that takes the main stage over the volume/shape of the object. Next to her head the cap blends in with the background.

Seeing all this makes me so sad to think of all the banal screaming of so much contemporary art.
Can we accuse the public of so much ignorance? Just going for the loud moralistic kitsch?

Reading a few articles and seeing the programs about the exhibition I guess the critics and art historians are more to blame. Probably because they never held a brush in their hands, they cannot but talk about side issues. No knowledge about what painting is or can be is their trademark.

So they talked about the rush and said that exhibitions like these harm the arts. Ok, one can complain about the many visitors that make you having to be patient to really see a painting.

And finally I think to understand why so many took photos even under an inclination of 45 degrees. They must think that by having the image in their mobile, they sort of own it a little. Sadly the opposite occurs. If you take a photo you step out of the direct confrontation, you put the camera between you and the object. And at home what do you see? You can show friends you were there and did not see a thing...

Sometimes I feel like a dinosaur. I know so little people I can really talk with. Scream yes, but that doesn’t interest me. I go for the whisper of Vermeer…

P.S.: The titles may not be the right ones (who cares) and I sometimes showed details of paintings to make my case. If you want the whole images of all, be quick, go to the RIJKSMUSEUM and take photos!

 As an extra treat, some music about silence...

I was in Barcelona for the feast where the two portraits of H (♀) were the birthday present given by H (♂)…

It was a GREAT PARTY. Great people...

I saw my daughter too… We had dinner in our favorite restaurant in Barcelona: BACARO. When you are in Barcelona, GO AND EAT THERE!!!

(Click on the grey name of the restaurant to go to the site) 

I saw the new apartment in which Gala lives. I saw the crazy cats, we talked and talked and I remembered the jewel box I made for her mother. For which birthday it was, I don’t remember. Must have been 2001 or 2002.

In those years I was fascinated with butterflies.

In the text ‘LIGHT’ I tell how they appear for the first time in my painting life (click on the title and scroll down a bit).

They filled several paintings, this is one.

I made the jewel box for Gala’s mother with on top butterflies (and in my stomach?)…

Now the box leads a quiet life somewhere in a dark closet.

I asked my daughter to bring back memories.

Here they are:

the butterflies:

Gala filling the box with precious gifts from admirers:

Should I fall in love again (read the last blog for candidates, click on: VAMPS!) or just make jewel boxes for money? I take orders! Does that mean that I am a prostitute?

Maybe the most attractive people to portray are wrinkled agry old men…

For a different reason portraying goddesses can be serious fun too.

But to portray a beautiful woman is not easy. The thing is to find the right balance, to not fall in the trap of banal glorification of the perfect goddess.

I try to stay clearheaded when I attack famous (and less famous) beauties, portray them in my sketch blocks.

Some fall for blonds others for dark haired vamps. I have a fixation for Anna Magnani… it could be worse… More than a vamp she was ‘La Lupa’ of Rome. She shows up in my blocks from 1987 on…

Why this blog? I felt the need to take distance from my oil painting for a couple of days, so I scribbled some beauties in the blocks. And now I had the idea to look at the collection (not complete) of VAMPS that flutter through my sketchbook pages (no who is who, maybe you recognize some and if not: sleepless nights!).

Here they are:

 
1987:

‘The laughing Lupa’.

2002:

That year only one goddess came around (the first real one next to Anna?) and was not too concentrated when I sketched her. Just during a break. Did not have the idea yet to invite others into the blocks.

2007:

The abyss (slight vertigo because of fear of heights).

2008:

With X-ray eyes. She looks right through me. After a film noir of the fifties.

2011:

Two bigger sketches, of course Anna (also detail).

2017:

Not so much a vamp, but just a very beautiful woman and a great artist as well.

2018:

With number one I went wild, expressionistic. I got carried away. Number two is very sixties.

2019:

Poor MM, she has the moustache of…

And there is a Spanish starlet. I had to make sketches of her for the movie ‘Barcelona, ciutat neutral’ for the Spanish TV. The amazing thing was that when I met her, she looked not particularly sexy, seductive or beautiful. But when she posed it was as if a bright light went on, she beamed.

This sketch hid in a private sketchbook.

2020:

Here it becomes serious. No more fantasy beauties (maybe a theme for another blog, my sketchbooks are full of them). No; famous Vamps! So serious that I made a series of bigger sketches (still for sale, see the site: SKETCHES). The Spanish starlet shines next to...

For the sketches click on the title of the page in grey.

2021:

In color.

2022:

Should I worry, my studio turned into a VAMP PARTY, it went out of control. Have I become a dirty old man? And that in these times?

I say this not only because of all the new correctness, the metoo and more, but also because I have decided to not read the news for a couple of days. There is so much wrong, so much to be desperate about that I threw myself in the arms of these goddesses... Away with wrinkled angry old men, the female future is the way to go! 

VIVA LA REVOLUCION!

These ladies pop up in between other sketches in the chapter: ‘SKETCHBOOKS’ on the site. But only every now and then.

to go to the sketchbook page, click on the title in grey.

Here is a song to sing while looking at all this splendor...

I will not bother you with all the beautiful places I went to in Italy, all the great friends I met, but two stories I want to share. Both of them took place in Venice...

Thanks to the friend I was with, I discovered the Mariano Fortuny museum. If you visit this museum you will not see great paintings, it is the museum itself that is the jewel. It is like Venice, just to wander around is the joy.

The founder (1871-1949) was a famous fashion designer, painter, sculptor and set designer amongst other (my friend is in the fashion business, that is why we went there).

Next to what Fortuny created, I saw traces of three people (two 'present' and one in the background) I want to mention.

Fortuny made the set design for ‘Parsifal’, one my of favourite operas by Wagner (the death mask of the composer next to the libretti).

There is a print with the image of Schopenhauer, my favourite philosopher. That there was no image of Nietzsche I understand, but why him?

And as last: Fortuny was a source of inspiration to Marcel Proust (one of my favourite writers). Was the dress Albertine wore here seen next to the image of Proust?

How could I have not known about Fortuny?

The museum in a way reminds me of the Teylers Museum in Haarlem (if ever you visit the Netherlands, go there!) or the Doria Pamphilj Gallery in Rome: half museum, half a more private environment, almost a house. Because of the surprise visit I was not really looking for a specific painting or sculpture. I didn't know what to expect; it was the whole collection and interior that overwhelmed me.

Here are some images of the interior,

two paintings and two a bit frightening dolls…

In the museum you find minor works of his father, the painter Marià Fortuny (1838–1874). But cherry on the cake is the Winter Garden!

And then there is LUCIANO BUGGIO. In the blog of 09-11-2017 I wrote about him (click on the date to go to the blog).

It was great reunion. Again I bought two souvenirs for my daughter, again we had a very interesting talk.

Venice is being destroyed by tourism (yes, I am guilty too: if ever I find a way to go live there, Venice here I come!!!). All the shops with glass trifle, masks and other garbage… it is a sad sight.

To meet Luciano is to find a pearl in the pigsty. If he ever closes his shop, Venice will loose a precious part of its charm. This is why again I make publicity for him.

GO THERE AND BUY ONE OF HIS LITTLE OBJECTS!

Don’t do like the tourists who passed by while we were talking: they glanced inside, took a photo and went on. I felt bad, very bad knowing these ignorant people bought a mask somewhere else, 50% off the price because ‘sales’ and of course made in China…

Here is Luciano’s address:

LUCIANO BUGGIO

S. POLO 2423

(??? I do not understand this address, on the map it shows another place??? Luciano is a mistery, maybe he lives there. I visited his site and could not make chocolate of it either).

tel: +3466377550

buggiol@libero.it

www.buggiol.wixsite.com/lucianobuggio

2432 Calle de L’ogio o del Cafetier is how you find the shop (and even that is not really true, the number should be 2423, but then google goes nuts)...

On Google maps: https://www.google.nl/maps/@45.438688,12.3263142,3a,75y,120.06h,84.34t/data=!3m6!1e1!3m4!1s6OmbphAsmSec89kv00GG1Q!2e0!7i13312!8i6656

Only if you have bought one of his objects, tell him I sent you.

The video shows the life and works of Mariano Fortuny. Enjoy!

I am painting a double portrait.

The big question is always to have the best side of the portrayed come out. Is the magic of portraying a person well if one is able to give the shown image the right twist for both client and viewer? Apart from giving an illusion of a human being, to give it a subtle push in a certain direction?

FRANS HALS' PORTRAITS.

Not long ago I was in Brussels. I saw this little portrait made by Hals of Willem van Heythuyzen.

Special about this portrait is that Hals portrayed Van Heythuyzen (who was quite an authority) seated on his chair in an informal way. He portrayed him as a bon vivant. Maybe he was or maybe he wanted to be seen like that. Did they talk about it, did Van Heythuyzen demand from Hals this?

Another example of slight confusion.

Famous is his painting (portrait?) ‘THE MERRY DRINKER’.

I have never found this guy merry or happy... was this meant by Hals? I love it because of the duality.

This all gave me to think.

How do we want our portrayed to be seen? And this in connection with the portrayed or not.

MANIPULATION IN POLITICS

We may consider Putin seen as one of the most evil people in the Western world today. So I suspect that when we see a photo of him in the news now, it shows him playing this evil part. Or do we make this twist in our head?

Not long ago Putin wanted Russia to open up towards the West so he must have been portrayed as rather a sympathetic guy in those days.

THE SCIENTIFIC APPROACH.

I remember doctor Lombroso and the research in which he tried to define the looks of a criminal (very handy when you encounter a man in a dark alley around midnight you immediately know if your life is in danger or not)… Can you know what somebody is like by the way he or she looks?

Four examples of criminals according to the scientist.

What I noticed in the frontal photo of the dear scientist himself was the incredible asymmetric face he had… does this show he had a Jekyll and a Hide side?

As an experiment I chose photos of three gangsters from the old days: Lucky Luciano, Carlo Gambino and Vito Genovese where they are not necessarily portrayed as the evil guys they were and portray them in my sketchbooks as sympathetic men, give the sketches a slight twist towards ‘nice’. The easiest of the three is Carlo Gambino without a shadow of a doubt. He was a big help which makes him even more frightening.

To think they were responsible for thousands of murders apart from all their other criminal actions…

Here are all four, the three gangsters and the scientist. Who is who?

WE ALL HAVE OUR DARK SIDES IF WE LIKE THEM OR NOT

Here are some quotes of Jung.

‘The most terrifying thing is to accept oneself completely.’

‘There's no coming to consciousness without pain.’

‘One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious.’

One night in 1997 I made this sketch expressing my thoughts. I may have hit the bottle a bit hard that night...

`YOU CANNOT BUT LET THE MONSTER RIDE WITH YOU ON YOUR BACK, OTHERWISE IT WILL EAT YOU.`

SO HOW TO PORTRAY MYSELF...

In 2016 I painted this self-portrait called ‘Grey Me’. The artist as an arrogant pig?

I never sold it…

It was an exercise in painting in the wet. I think I painted it in two sessions.

Will a client like a portrait made in this way? With a similar pose?

NEW POSSIBLE COMMISSIONS.

I knew a painter who had to serve some time in prison. Financially it was a good period. He portrayed many heavy criminals and was paid well (black money?). Maybe I should enter this market. Maybe I should exercise.

When I talked about my ideas with a friend and mentioned Hitler, that I might try to portray him as a sympathetic guy his reaction was a violent: “NO!’

But I might just give it a try, you never know if I will have to serve some time in prison…

Or I might suggest a future client to portray him as a little devil… (the other way around is just as much fun).

One day Gala saw me clearly...

Below some inspiring music.